Starting Again

The alarm is set for 3:30 in the morning.  We have set a time that we need to leave. All day I have been sorting, organizing, packing, taking care of one last thing, saying good-bye. It is 10:30 at night. I am running out of time.

All day, and still, I feel this need to finish things before I leave Louisiana. A part of me feels sad that a chapter in my life is finishing. It wasn’t a chapter that I wanted to end. I actually have become so use to trying to hang on to it that I have forgotten what it is like to look forward.

In the stress of trying to get everything done before the deadline I have set for myself in the morning, I had a thought. I will leave here tomorrow morning and drive for one day. Once I get there, I will have the rest of my life to finish all this. I realized that it started to feel like the beginning instead of the end.

A bit over two years ago I wrote a blog and quoted the awesome group Linkin Park’s song titled “The Hardest Part of Ending is Starting Again”. I had no idea the real truth of that phrase. I have spent so much time trying to end that I haven’t spent any on starting again.

So, although this started as my thoughts about ending a chapter, instead I find myself looking very forward to a new chapter. At this point I don’t know how the rest of my story will go and I don’t know who will be in it but it somehow feels like the beginning again  and that the last chapter of my life is over and I am moving on to a new one.